There’s no point trying to avoid this issue – fat people want to have sex just as much as other people! But unfortunately fat women may not see themselves as particularly attractive – and, for that matter, fat men may not see themselves as very attractive either.
Okay so that’s a misogynistic, sexist and probably a fattist statement as well, but regrettably it’s true. There’s plenty of evidence to suggest that fat people don’t regard themselves as attractive, they may suffer social anxiety disorder as a consequence, and they certainly suffer sexual dysfunctions of various kinds related to their obesity.
For men, one of the most common sexual dysfunctions related to obesity is erectile dysfunction, and another is premature ejaculation – a fact which is probably much less well-known than the commonly known condition of erectile dysfunction amongst fat men.
Fat and obese women can also suffer social anxiety, they also report less sexual enjoyment, lower levels of sexual desire, higher levels of unwanted pregnancy, less effective use of contraception… all of which could be associated with body shame issues.
I have to say that I think one effective way in which people can deal with this is to first of all find an effective diet like The Fat Loss Factor* (yes, a diet!) and, secondly, find out what is causing them to lay down high levels of fat on their bodies – Teal Swan, for example, suggested that FAT acts as a boundary, a physical boundary, between themselves and other people, a protection against interaction and engagement formed due to early emotional wounding.
*Another good diet for men, which seems to produce great results, is the Adonis Golden ratio, which you can read about here.
But I want to focus in this post on something more practical: sex positions for fat people, and the question of how sexual enjoyment can be increased among a group of people who clearly could be considered to be at a disadvantage when it comes to manipulating their bodies into lovemaking positions.
It’s a live issue for a lot of people, and clearly there’s a lot to think about: man on top, for example, surely becomes impractical because of the weight of the man, and any position which requires the woman to sit on the man is probably also impossible because of her weight: so which sexual positions are available to obese or overweight people?
At a rough guess: rear entry, with the woman having her belly on the bed and the man standing behind her; forward entry by the man standing on the side of the bed, with the woman lying on her back with her legs over the edge; side-by-side, if the genitals can be brought close enough to allow penetration; and of course oral sex.
But since I’m no expert on the subject, and I don’t have any experience of sexual intercourse with a fat partner, and I’m not fat myself, I thought perhaps the easiest way to bring some relevant information to bear on the subject was to offer the video produced by this lady for your enjoyment.
Sexual positions suitable for fat people fat people: a video
Perhaps I should just add in conclusion that sex positions for fat people may not be very fulfilling, even when both the man and the woman want to engage in sex. In fact it can be quite awkward to find a position that is comfortable. This can be made worse if neither the man nor the woman actually have a high level of fitness.
For example, the missionary position, which I’ve already suggested isn’t suitable for overweight people could actually be used by a couple where pillows are placed under woman’s buttocks so the angle of her vagina is modified to make penetration easier. Even so, the man will need to be in a kneeling position, and the whole thing can begin to seem like a chore rather than pleasurable.
One highly recommended position, however, is to have the woman lying on her side with her knees bent, supported as necessary by pillows perhaps under her hip. The man should kneel behind her (like you would be doing if you are going into the doggy style position), but instead, he lifts one of her legs and enters her from behind while kneeling behind her.
Another possibility revealed by ask men.com is to have the woman place her vagina over the man’s penis, but not to sit on top of him as in the normal female on top position. Instead, she can lean back on her arms, placing them outside the man’s knees which are raised up – the woman is facing the man, in case that wasn’t clear – and her legs and feet will go over his shoulder.
The woman can use her feet to push herself up and down on the man’s erection, and the couple can quickly establish coordinated movement between them.